Dave's story

I would never have been able to get out of the mess of my life without your guidance.  So many people must miss life opportunities as they are without a mentor when they most need one.

Looking back on our time together, I think there are four parts to our relationships:

The early years

when you taught me to become enlightened in appreciating other people’s perspectives. Meanwhile you taught me to understand my own emotions and self-worth.

Time apart

not meeting you for two years gave me a chance to employ all the techniques and understandings you taught me.  To gain confidence in these techniques and to learn to trust them & to begin to trust myself.

Reconvening

since we reconvened in July my self-belief was tested by Jeddah and you were there to guide me back to ‘OK’.  People don’t learn by their mistakes, they only learn if they have a guide or a teacher to explain where they went wrong.  Thank goodness you reappeared in my life when I needed you. Without doubt the conversation we shared was a life-saver.  If ever I needed to talk to a valued-other that was the day. 

During that conversation you gave me perspective, telling me why the loss of my dogs would upset my emotional balance, why the challenges of a new team and learning new skills would put me out of “OK”, so my confidence would be fragile and I would naturally begin doubt my ’self'.  You then told me not to ’sweat the small stuff … and it’s all small stuff”. Wow! - you really pulled some great one-liners out of the bag that night Nick.  I’ll never forget that conversation. 

Over the past few months you and I have covered so much new ground since I re-contacted you in July 2020. During this past summer we discussed the 'power of vulnerability' and then we moved on to talk about ‘triggers' and how to understand what they are and how to deal with them.  We talked about resilience, empathy with my sister, building relationships and making future plans that I would be motivated by.  These skills were tools I added to my tool box.  They are ’next levels’.  I feel I am adding-on greater understanding of myself whenever we meet.

The future

Looking forward into the future, I am certain now that my confidence is built upon self-knowledge, it's no longer an arrogance based simply upon natural ‘unearned’ abilities.  I have never been confident in my 'self’ before.  Before I have only ever been confident in my ‘natural abilities', but not my own 'self’. 

Only now do I have 'self-confidence’, I firmly believe that combining my self-confidence with my confidence in my natural abilities will start making positive things happen in my life.  I hope so, I want to be rich enough to be able to retire and live comfortably - so I gotta get up that career ladder asap! By reiterating, refining & reflecting upon my skills I now feel I am able to self-coach.  For someone like me - who has previously grown-up without the power of self-reflection, it’s an amazing tool to gain at this stage of my life.