Exploring Career Options
In what specific ways are you finding the way we are working together helpful?
I think the supportive nature of it gives me the confidence and assurance to make changes and try the new things we discuss. I underestimated how plain nice it would be to have someone try and sort my head out with me.
The trust and feeling that you understand means I am more confident to bounce thoughts off you and not worry about what you think of me, which makes the process more truthful and effective for me.
Hearing your insight, knowledge and potential explanations for the feelings/emotions/behaviours that I express has been helpful because it means I can focus on the doing, feeling, accepting rather than constantly analysing and second-guessing my feelings/emotions/behaviours and their causes myself. 'Therapy' sessions I have been to previously never helped because really I wanted to understand 'why', not just 'what'. So looking into the past has really helped to give me piece of mind about where my attitudes/behaviour come from and hope that they can be changed.
What difference is it making to you and what changes has it enabled you to make?
I can recognise when negative feelings arise and evaluate where they are coming from. And instead of just trying to recognise and accept, I am taking action to change them, instead of continuing into a downward depressive spiral.
I am taking responsibility for my own happiness rather than letting environments and others dictate it. I am more self-focused in that respect, and do what is best for me.
I am trying to act more on intuition and developing the confidence to do things I want to do, even if they're unconventional.
I remove myself from situations I am not capable of responding to well, or recognise that it is a situation I am still learning how to handle and I'll get there.
What has been the impact on your relationships?
I define limits for acceptable behaviour. So far I've only had the opportunity to do that for others. I express calmly and rationally why I'm imposing those limits for me, and what I'll do (for myself) if they're exceeded.
Recognising that I am only one half of a relationship and can only do so much to make it a happy one gives me some peace. It means that I am more accepting of the way some family members are and no longer try to change them or make them see my point of view.
Can you highlight one or two critical moments which were particularly significant?
Realising that the reason I am struggling to pick a career/first job is because I'm afraid it will make me unhappy/ I'll get stuck/ not have the freedom to leave. Not the nicest realisation. And made me quite sad when I realised that the fear is a product of past events. I think that recognising this was all quite intimidating, because the feeling and thought processing behind the fear is well ingrained over time; there is a lot to address and there's no quick fix. This applies to more than just the fear; it was/is difficult to accept that I'm going to have to work hard to be happy, probably for most of my life. This was all countered by the potential and hope of actually being happy though.
Realising that I can and should take action, and take responsibility for changing things which make me unhappy, instead of only learning how to respond to them. An empowering and hopeful realisation.
What could we do differently to be even more effective?
Very little. Maybe some kind of reflection to see/remember how far I've come? But I'm clutching at straws here! Thanks so much again for your help. It really has been invaluable.
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If you are considering one-to-one coaching with a professional coach, Nick Harris invites you to get in touch for a free 45 minute coaching session to explore your current situation, future aspirations and discuss next steps.
Call 0800 776 5696 to book your free session